By Lesa Stern Building Student Resilience: Tips Based on Research

When students come home for Christmas break, talk with them about how to navigate this transition. Students are used to making their own decisions at Westmont, and you'll need to negotiate expectations for their time at home. Now is a good time to discuss what you both want/expect of each other. 

Acknowledging their emerging adulthood means giving them more independence as well as more adult responsibilities.  Both of you are learning how to engage with each other as adults, and it can be awkward for all parties.  But have those tough conversations!  Student resilience is tied to taking these steps of greater responsibility as an adult. It's tempting to baby them (and they often love it, too!), but you can negotiate what kinds of adult responsibilities would be good for them to start assuming. They can help with grocery shopping, or cooking a meal, or cleaning the house, or some other daily routines that need to get done. The key is learning how to support their emerging independence with the needs of the family. 

Resilience is also tied to good relationships with family and friends. As students come home for the holidays, ask good questions: find out what they've been learning, their new hobbies, or fun times with friends (the Fall Dance might be good to talk about). There is overwhelming evidence that stress, anxiety and depression are increasing for college students as well as adults nationally and internationally. Listen well to your student. Rather than solving their problems for them, ask good questions that help them understand their stressors. They also need to learn to "self-soothe" (yes, it's a term!) rather than having someone else calm them down every time they hit an obstacle. Students also need practice working through their strong emotions and coping with them in effective ways rather than turning to distractions. You can help them by asking them what they think would help with their stress/anxiety and providing verbal affirmation when they turn to positive coping strategies. 

Building Resilience at Home
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