Westmont Dating Culture, Explained
I hold perfectly still, hardly daring to breathe. A gust of wind rustles the bushes I’m hiding behind, and I wince. If I’m spotted, it’s all over. I carefully pick up my notebook and squint at the scene unfolding before me. It’s a scene that has never before been observed by science: a Westmont Date.
Yes, dear reader, after spending four years with the species known as Studentus westmontus and carefully recording my findings, I have finally observed the Westmont Dating Process (WDP) from start to finish. I am now ready to share my discoveries with the world.